Imagine your next birthday party. Ribbons, boxes and bows. Decorations are hung everywhere. Then you are lead over to a corner and sat on a small chair. You watch as everyone begins to hand each other birthday cards and gifts. They open them with surprise and excitement. It’s joyous. Periodically, someone looks over your way, waves, and says “Happy Birthday!”
The prophet Isaiah prophesied that a child would be born (9:6). Then, as if to call attention to the monumental importance of this child, he went on to say that a son would be given. Why? “For this is how God loved the world, that He gave His only son…”John 3:16 Jesus, God’s only son, born of a virgin, simply in an effort to show the world how much God loved them. And this was no haphazard birth. It was no accident. The Apostle Paul proclaims in Galatians 4 that “…when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth His son… so that we might receive adoption as sons.” (vs 4 &5 ESV) God’s only son, given so that we too might be called sons and daughters of God. Amazing.
And yet, perhaps the saddest verse in all of the Bible is John 1:11 “He came unto His own, and His own received Him not.” (KJV) Jesus was born in the shadow of the cross.
And so we celebrate Christmas. The birth of Christ. God’s “unspeakable” gift. Given freely, at exactly the right time. And we too often leave Him out.
This year, keep Christ in your Christmas,be sure to read Matthew’s and Luke’s account of His birth. Sing Noel. Stand up when you hear the Hallelujah Chorus…Make His story…THE story…
Merry Christmas!!
Source: AACC
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Carrying the Holiday Load
Santa may get the credit, but guess who’s handling most of the work and worry during the Christmas season? The children’s stories all tell of Santa’s workshop full of happy, toy building elves. But back to real life, the true superstars at Christmas are not elves, but women. Wives, mothers, daughters. Tireless workers who selflessly keep going hour after hour. They shoulder most of the holiday load. An enormous undertaking that is stacked on top of the normal everyday strain,kids,housework,jobs, caregiving.
While the holidays always bring an intensified focus on family demands and money, this added stress is felt more by women. Recently, an American Psychological Association (APA) survey found that women are more likely than men to report heightened stress levels during the holiday season. They’re also less likely to take time to relax or manage that stress in healthy ways. I guess you could say there simply aren’t enough hours in her day to get it all done.
Hey, rest of the family,Let’s give her a hand (and I’m not talking about applause). Maybe shopping, or wrapping gifts isn’t your thing (mine either), but you could help around the house. Make a bed. Wash the dishes. Walk the dog. Look for things to do that will say to her, “You are appreciated and valued…” the Apostle Paul reminds all of us to give honor to whom honor is due (Romans 13:7 NASV). That starts with the Christ of Christmas. Celebrate God’s unspeakable gift. And let’s also remember that the women in our lives certainly deserve honor. Give her room and space to do what she does best!
Who knows,it might just help turn this Christmas around.
Source:AACC,APA
While the holidays always bring an intensified focus on family demands and money, this added stress is felt more by women. Recently, an American Psychological Association (APA) survey found that women are more likely than men to report heightened stress levels during the holiday season. They’re also less likely to take time to relax or manage that stress in healthy ways. I guess you could say there simply aren’t enough hours in her day to get it all done.
Hey, rest of the family,Let’s give her a hand (and I’m not talking about applause). Maybe shopping, or wrapping gifts isn’t your thing (mine either), but you could help around the house. Make a bed. Wash the dishes. Walk the dog. Look for things to do that will say to her, “You are appreciated and valued…” the Apostle Paul reminds all of us to give honor to whom honor is due (Romans 13:7 NASV). That starts with the Christ of Christmas. Celebrate God’s unspeakable gift. And let’s also remember that the women in our lives certainly deserve honor. Give her room and space to do what she does best!
Who knows,it might just help turn this Christmas around.
Source:AACC,APA
Monday, December 13, 2010
FIRST LOVE
“The magic of first love is our ignorance that it will never end…”
That’s from the early 1800’s writer Benjamin Disraeli. His “love for life” story is interesting. At 35, kind of old for his generation, he married a very wealthy widow. Years later, Disraeli remarked that he indeed married for money. And his wife replied, “Ugh, but if you had to do it again, you would do it for love.”
If you had to marry all over again, would you? I know that first love often gets covered up with the daily grind, the pace, pain and pressure of modern day life, all of the things that subtlety take precedence over one another.
The Church at Ephesus, busy doing good works, had lost something precious their “first love” for Christ. “I know your works…I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name’s sake…But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love that you had at first.” (Rev. 2:2-4 ESV)
Jesus firmly demanded that they come back to that love. “Remember…repent, and do the works you did at first.” (Rev 2:5 ESV)
In fact when asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus basically said, “LOVE”. His answer was to love God with your whole heart…“You shall love the Lord with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matt. 22:37 ESV)
And even more, to love those around you…as much as you love yourself. “And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (vs 39ESV)
Is there distance in your “love” for God, or with others? What happened? Who moved? What came between you?
Find that love again. You can!! No, you NEED to. Why? Because “real love” connects us at the heart and changes everything.
Source:AACC
That’s from the early 1800’s writer Benjamin Disraeli. His “love for life” story is interesting. At 35, kind of old for his generation, he married a very wealthy widow. Years later, Disraeli remarked that he indeed married for money. And his wife replied, “Ugh, but if you had to do it again, you would do it for love.”
If you had to marry all over again, would you? I know that first love often gets covered up with the daily grind, the pace, pain and pressure of modern day life, all of the things that subtlety take precedence over one another.
The Church at Ephesus, busy doing good works, had lost something precious their “first love” for Christ. “I know your works…I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name’s sake…But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love that you had at first.” (Rev. 2:2-4 ESV)
Jesus firmly demanded that they come back to that love. “Remember…repent, and do the works you did at first.” (Rev 2:5 ESV)
In fact when asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus basically said, “LOVE”. His answer was to love God with your whole heart…“You shall love the Lord with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matt. 22:37 ESV)
And even more, to love those around you…as much as you love yourself. “And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (vs 39ESV)
Is there distance in your “love” for God, or with others? What happened? Who moved? What came between you?
Find that love again. You can!! No, you NEED to. Why? Because “real love” connects us at the heart and changes everything.
Source:AACC
Friday, December 10, 2010
From The Horse's Mouth
Ever get a word straight from the horses mouth? A horse survives on three basics…water…food…and a finely tuned fear response. However, the fear factor could be disastrous on a trail ride. Say a snake suddenly appears right in the middle of the trail. A thousand pounds of crazy horse instinctively wants to ignite. Expert trainers teach trail horses to “startle in place”. Ears forward,nostrils flared, eyes wide open,every muscle tensed. But for an instant the horse reacts to fear by standing still. That gives the rider enough time to cue the horse as to exactly what course to take. The rider, not the horse is in control. Fear is a natural instinct. Reacting correctly in the midst of fear, takes discipline and training.
Has something suddenly appeared in your life that has produced intense fear? Do you feel like you don’t know what to do, or where to turn? Do you just want to run away?
Jesus’ disciples once encountered this kind of paralyzing fear. He had just disclosed to them that He was going away. The One who had loved them and walked with them for three years was leaving them behind. Sensing their panic and despondency, Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you…Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” (John 14:27 ESV) Jesus knew fear was natural. He was simply forewarning them to “startle in place”. To be disciplined in their fear response. To allow Him to supply Peace…His Peace.
When the circumstances arise in your life that will incite fear, respond,don’t react. “Startle in place”. Develop a healthy fear response that will allow you to follow His course. Trust in Him with all of your heart. Peace will come.
Source:AACC
Has something suddenly appeared in your life that has produced intense fear? Do you feel like you don’t know what to do, or where to turn? Do you just want to run away?
Jesus’ disciples once encountered this kind of paralyzing fear. He had just disclosed to them that He was going away. The One who had loved them and walked with them for three years was leaving them behind. Sensing their panic and despondency, Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you…Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” (John 14:27 ESV) Jesus knew fear was natural. He was simply forewarning them to “startle in place”. To be disciplined in their fear response. To allow Him to supply Peace…His Peace.
When the circumstances arise in your life that will incite fear, respond,don’t react. “Startle in place”. Develop a healthy fear response that will allow you to follow His course. Trust in Him with all of your heart. Peace will come.
Source:AACC
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Unwanted Holiday Guests
Watch out for these unwanted holiday guests… Stress and Anxiety…
You don’t invite them but they show up, seemingly out of nowhere. Often however, their arrival is a result of these three “R’s”:
Relationships. Conflict between family members can happen anytime. But the holidays seem to heighten our tension levels, or at least our awareness of it. Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (ESV) That’s a pretty tough assignment when the “Griswolds” are coming to visit. Do what you can to get along but remember, you are not responsible for the actions and attitudes of anyone but yourself. Smile, and be nice. Laugh, and be nice. Here’s a thought… make amends. Maybe even give forgiveness a try…
Resources. Making ends meet is always a challenge, and especially in today’s economy. Trying to make everybody on your “gift” list happy can be a real “joy”, and send you down the drain… financially and emotionally. Ask yourself these two questions: “Whose birthday is it?” and “What are we really celebrating?” 1 John 4:9-11, “In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only son into the world, so that we might live through Him… Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (ESV) Your greatest gift is love, His love. So be careful in your attitude and words.
Routine. Extra demands on your time, dietary free-fall, and a lack of rest will jerk the jingle out of you!! 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 reminds us, “Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?…For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.” Take care of yourself. Rest. Eat right. Exercise. And don’t let the “busyness” rob you of time with your Heavenly Father. Keep your routine. Don’t get off track.
Remember the Christmas miracle? It’s in your heart. Make it all about Jesus this season. When you focus on Him, every “unwanted guest” fades into Peace and Joy.
Source:AACC
You don’t invite them but they show up, seemingly out of nowhere. Often however, their arrival is a result of these three “R’s”:
Relationships. Conflict between family members can happen anytime. But the holidays seem to heighten our tension levels, or at least our awareness of it. Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (ESV) That’s a pretty tough assignment when the “Griswolds” are coming to visit. Do what you can to get along but remember, you are not responsible for the actions and attitudes of anyone but yourself. Smile, and be nice. Laugh, and be nice. Here’s a thought… make amends. Maybe even give forgiveness a try…
Resources. Making ends meet is always a challenge, and especially in today’s economy. Trying to make everybody on your “gift” list happy can be a real “joy”, and send you down the drain… financially and emotionally. Ask yourself these two questions: “Whose birthday is it?” and “What are we really celebrating?” 1 John 4:9-11, “In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only son into the world, so that we might live through Him… Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (ESV) Your greatest gift is love, His love. So be careful in your attitude and words.
Routine. Extra demands on your time, dietary free-fall, and a lack of rest will jerk the jingle out of you!! 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 reminds us, “Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?…For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.” Take care of yourself. Rest. Eat right. Exercise. And don’t let the “busyness” rob you of time with your Heavenly Father. Keep your routine. Don’t get off track.
Remember the Christmas miracle? It’s in your heart. Make it all about Jesus this season. When you focus on Him, every “unwanted guest” fades into Peace and Joy.
Source:AACC
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Love For Life
“What’s love got to do with it?” Sounds like an old Tina Turner song.
If you asked anyone today, “What makes a great marriage?” most would reply “love”. The problem, however, lies in the fact that very few of us agree on what love really is…
Most marriage experts speak of three core components of love. Passion. That’s the romance, sensual, physical side of love. Intimacy. The side of love that describes that “soul mate”, best friend, emotional love. And then, you really have to have a big dose of Commitment. That’s the willful, “I’m here for you no matter what”, and “I love you because you are you” kind of love. All three are critical for love to grow and flourish.
In that sense, love is a lot like money, you’ve got to make deposits every day in order to be able to make withdrawals from that “love” account. You’re only going to get out of it what you put into it.
In 1 Corinthians 13 the Apostle Paul lists some of the best qualities of love. Qualities worth investing in your “love bank”. Patience…kindness…unselfish actions…humility. The larger your investment, the greater the return.
How’s your love life? Cold? Distant? Neglected? Close? What kind of deposit did you make today? Whatever you “did’ or “didn’t do” sent a message! 1 John 3:18 admonishes us “let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”(ESV)
When relationships tend to go south, someone usually feels like all they do is give, and all the other one does is take. Are you tired of giving? Frustrated because you don’t feel like you are being loved in return? Paul added in the same “love chapter” that love “bears all things…believes all things…hopes all things…and endures all things” (Vs 7 NAS). Difficult? Yes! But a love soaked in grace, and the oil of deep forgiveness, is essential for a “Love for Life”.
Source:AACC
If you asked anyone today, “What makes a great marriage?” most would reply “love”. The problem, however, lies in the fact that very few of us agree on what love really is…
Most marriage experts speak of three core components of love. Passion. That’s the romance, sensual, physical side of love. Intimacy. The side of love that describes that “soul mate”, best friend, emotional love. And then, you really have to have a big dose of Commitment. That’s the willful, “I’m here for you no matter what”, and “I love you because you are you” kind of love. All three are critical for love to grow and flourish.
In that sense, love is a lot like money, you’ve got to make deposits every day in order to be able to make withdrawals from that “love” account. You’re only going to get out of it what you put into it.
In 1 Corinthians 13 the Apostle Paul lists some of the best qualities of love. Qualities worth investing in your “love bank”. Patience…kindness…unselfish actions…humility. The larger your investment, the greater the return.
How’s your love life? Cold? Distant? Neglected? Close? What kind of deposit did you make today? Whatever you “did’ or “didn’t do” sent a message! 1 John 3:18 admonishes us “let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”(ESV)
When relationships tend to go south, someone usually feels like all they do is give, and all the other one does is take. Are you tired of giving? Frustrated because you don’t feel like you are being loved in return? Paul added in the same “love chapter” that love “bears all things…believes all things…hopes all things…and endures all things” (Vs 7 NAS). Difficult? Yes! But a love soaked in grace, and the oil of deep forgiveness, is essential for a “Love for Life”.
Source:AACC
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Count your Blessings
Turkey and dressing. All the trimmings. Pumpkin pie. Too many desserts. Did you have a great feast? If you partook of a traditional Thanksgiving, you took in between 3000 and 3500 calories. Not to mention breakfast and those midnight munchies. You spent all year counting your calories...and now what? Walk it off? Smile. That is a lot of walking! And now it is time to start counting calories again just to prepare for all of those Christmas parties coming up.
While we are counting, let’s consider counting something else...Blessings. Proverbs 28:20 “A faithful man will abound with Blessings...” (ESV) Sure, the news is depressing. It seems that trouble and trials are around every corner. But could this not be partly from our perception? Our focus often runs to the hard things. The struggles. What if we turned our attention to all of the ways we are blessed?
Do this. Get a notebook and just start writing down your personal blessings. If you are reading this, then you are blessed with eye sight. Write it down. Next? The ability to write. See how this works? As you begin to “count” your blessings, you will be amazed. And you will realize that your life actually abounds with blessings.
In the Old Testament, God told His children to make “memorials”. Often it was a simple pile of stones designed to call to memory all of the good things that the Lord had blessed them with. He knew how easy it would be to forget…and to focus on the negative. Your list can become your “memorial”.
Source: AACC
While we are counting, let’s consider counting something else...Blessings. Proverbs 28:20 “A faithful man will abound with Blessings...” (ESV) Sure, the news is depressing. It seems that trouble and trials are around every corner. But could this not be partly from our perception? Our focus often runs to the hard things. The struggles. What if we turned our attention to all of the ways we are blessed?
Do this. Get a notebook and just start writing down your personal blessings. If you are reading this, then you are blessed with eye sight. Write it down. Next? The ability to write. See how this works? As you begin to “count” your blessings, you will be amazed. And you will realize that your life actually abounds with blessings.
In the Old Testament, God told His children to make “memorials”. Often it was a simple pile of stones designed to call to memory all of the good things that the Lord had blessed them with. He knew how easy it would be to forget…and to focus on the negative. Your list can become your “memorial”.
Source: AACC
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thanks In Thanksgiving
This year, don’t miss the THANKS in Thanksgiving...
Traditions. Turkey...Dressing...Pumpkin pie...Football...Macy’s day parade. All fun. And for many, a part of family gatherings. Traditions that give us pause to share warm memories, and the opportunity to make new ones. Occasions to relish in the old traditions passed from generation to generation, or perhaps, to even begin a new one.
Holiday. A time to knock off for a day. Rest. Relax. Forget the bills, the problems, the pressures of life. Slow down from the hectic, insane pace that drives us to exhaustion, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Take the day off...and enjoy it!
Attitude. An attitude of self-less-ness. In sports, one bad attitude on the team can, and usually does, hurt the whole team. Self focused and self absorbed attitudes destroy the heart of Thanksgiving. This year...have an attitude...of gratitude...
Nation. Thanksgiving was birthed as a part of our American heritage. The Pilgrims and the Native Americans joined together to establish what is now a favorite annual celebration. Our Nation’s foundation was built on thanking God. Spend some time thanking God for this great Nation.
Kinfolk. Family trees. Of course, it seems like in every tree there is an “old sap” that may be a bit cantankerous (you’re smiling aren’t you?). This Thanksgiving, put aside petty differences and simply enjoy each other. Strengthen relationships, and your family tree will grow strong and well rooted.
Sacrifice. Remembering the ones who gave the ultimate sacrifice so that we can celebrate and “feast” in Freedom. And especially thank our Heavenly Father for His Sacrifice, Jesus Christ His son, freely given, that we might have eternal life…
During your festivities this week, make a special effort to bring alive the “THANKS” in Thanksgiving…
And go easy on the turkey and dressing.
“Enter His gates with Thanksgiving, and His courts with praise! Give thanks to him; Bless His name.” Psalm 100:4 (ESV)
Source: AACC
Traditions. Turkey...Dressing...Pumpkin pie...Football...Macy’s day parade. All fun. And for many, a part of family gatherings. Traditions that give us pause to share warm memories, and the opportunity to make new ones. Occasions to relish in the old traditions passed from generation to generation, or perhaps, to even begin a new one.
Holiday. A time to knock off for a day. Rest. Relax. Forget the bills, the problems, the pressures of life. Slow down from the hectic, insane pace that drives us to exhaustion, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Take the day off...and enjoy it!
Attitude. An attitude of self-less-ness. In sports, one bad attitude on the team can, and usually does, hurt the whole team. Self focused and self absorbed attitudes destroy the heart of Thanksgiving. This year...have an attitude...of gratitude...
Nation. Thanksgiving was birthed as a part of our American heritage. The Pilgrims and the Native Americans joined together to establish what is now a favorite annual celebration. Our Nation’s foundation was built on thanking God. Spend some time thanking God for this great Nation.
Kinfolk. Family trees. Of course, it seems like in every tree there is an “old sap” that may be a bit cantankerous (you’re smiling aren’t you?). This Thanksgiving, put aside petty differences and simply enjoy each other. Strengthen relationships, and your family tree will grow strong and well rooted.
Sacrifice. Remembering the ones who gave the ultimate sacrifice so that we can celebrate and “feast” in Freedom. And especially thank our Heavenly Father for His Sacrifice, Jesus Christ His son, freely given, that we might have eternal life…
During your festivities this week, make a special effort to bring alive the “THANKS” in Thanksgiving…
And go easy on the turkey and dressing.
“Enter His gates with Thanksgiving, and His courts with praise! Give thanks to him; Bless His name.” Psalm 100:4 (ESV)
Source: AACC
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Bitterness
Have you ever had to deal with bitterness? I know I have, and here are some tips I hope and pray will help you.
1-Acceptance
Make a list of the persons who have hurt you.
Next to each name, write what you needed from that person.
Next to that, write how it made you feel when that person did not meet your need.
In the last column write whether you think that person will ever be able to meet your need. Be honest.
Accept your loss and grieve it.
2-Forgive
Ask God to help you forgive. Forgiveness is letting go of anger and your quest for revenge. Realize that you are powerless to forgive through your own strength, but God does not ask you to do something without giving you His strength and power to do it.
Ask God to help you feel compassion for your offender. Psalm 78:38 says that God is full of compassion.
3-Break the Chain
Bitterness often runs through families: When a parent does not meet a child’s needs, that child can become bitter and is then unable to meet his or her own child’s needs. The chain can continue through several generations.
Ask God to help you break the chain with your generation.
If you have a bitter parent, see your parent as an emotional cripple. Just as you would not expect a person in a wheelchair to run a marathon, don’t expect an emotional cripple to meet your needs—he/she cannot. Ask God to help you have pity for that person.
4-Look Elsewhere
Find somewhere else to get your needs met. If you are an emotional orphan, God will provide people to meet your needs.
Be proactive and look for those God has provided to meet your needs.
Join a women’s or men’s group, or look for a prayer partner.
If your mother did not meet your need for love and acceptance, find an older woman in the church who would be willing to mentor you. She can give you the love and acceptance your mother never could. The same action is helpful in a father-son situation.
If your husband or wife will not meet your need for friendship and intimacy, look around and see if there is a friend (of the same sex) or family member who is willing to be your friend and kindred spirit. Give of yourself to that person and meet each others’ needs.
And remember, God wants you to forgive so you can be free from the destructive power of bitterness.
Source: AACC
1-Acceptance
Make a list of the persons who have hurt you.
Next to each name, write what you needed from that person.
Next to that, write how it made you feel when that person did not meet your need.
In the last column write whether you think that person will ever be able to meet your need. Be honest.
Accept your loss and grieve it.
2-Forgive
Ask God to help you forgive. Forgiveness is letting go of anger and your quest for revenge. Realize that you are powerless to forgive through your own strength, but God does not ask you to do something without giving you His strength and power to do it.
Ask God to help you feel compassion for your offender. Psalm 78:38 says that God is full of compassion.
3-Break the Chain
Bitterness often runs through families: When a parent does not meet a child’s needs, that child can become bitter and is then unable to meet his or her own child’s needs. The chain can continue through several generations.
Ask God to help you break the chain with your generation.
If you have a bitter parent, see your parent as an emotional cripple. Just as you would not expect a person in a wheelchair to run a marathon, don’t expect an emotional cripple to meet your needs—he/she cannot. Ask God to help you have pity for that person.
4-Look Elsewhere
Find somewhere else to get your needs met. If you are an emotional orphan, God will provide people to meet your needs.
Be proactive and look for those God has provided to meet your needs.
Join a women’s or men’s group, or look for a prayer partner.
If your mother did not meet your need for love and acceptance, find an older woman in the church who would be willing to mentor you. She can give you the love and acceptance your mother never could. The same action is helpful in a father-son situation.
If your husband or wife will not meet your need for friendship and intimacy, look around and see if there is a friend (of the same sex) or family member who is willing to be your friend and kindred spirit. Give of yourself to that person and meet each others’ needs.
And remember, God wants you to forgive so you can be free from the destructive power of bitterness.
Source: AACC
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Sibling Rivalry
If you or someone you know are a parent to multiple kids you more than likely have experience sibling rivalry, I know I have and here are some tips that can be used to lessen or eliminate it altogether.
1-Love Your Children and Don’t Show Favoritism.
Ask any son or daughter who the favorite child is in the family and you may get an answer—pointing to the rival. Sibling favoritism offends and infects the heart of a child and leads to feelings of inferiority, anger, resentment, and even bitterness.
The Bible story of Esau and Jacob is a prime example of how favoritism damages a family. We learn in the book of Genesis that the father of the boys, Isaac, preferred Esau while the mother favored Jacob (25:28). This led to deceit between the parents and to Jacob’s stealing Esau’s birthright and blessing.
In many families there is no favoritism, and you must challenge your children’s false belief that there is. You know that you love each of your children completely, but that you also have a different relationship and behave differently with each one. It is essential to know each child’s particular love language and to communicate your love in that style. You must constantly discuss this essential difference in how people receive love until your children get it—which may not be until adulthood or when they themselves have children.
2-Don’t Compare
Most siblings are already very sensitive to the competitive aspects of their relationships with brothers and sisters. Instead of asking themselves, How good am I at this? they ask themselves, Am I better than my brother [sister] at this?
It is best for parents to avoid directly comparing their kids to one another. You can comment on your children’s gifts and uniqueness apart from their siblings. For example, while it is good to say, “Jane is great at soccer, and David is a whiz at piano!” it is not good to say “Jane is better than David at soccer, and David kicks Jane’s butt at music.”
3-Counter Jealous Feelings
Often jealousy is at the heart of sibling rivalry. If an older sibling is experiencing jealousy of a younger sibling, try the following techniques:
Help the child verbalize his or her feelings.
When children are able to verbalize their feelings, they are much better equipped to understand them and cope with them. However, verbalizing feelings is not a simple process for children. For example, can you imagine a young child saying, “Mom, Dad, I’ve been feeling a bit neglected and insecure since my little brother came along and I could really use some more attention. Specifically, I would like us to spend more one-on-one time playing games together like we used to.” Yeah right! Children are much more likely to act out their frustrations. Only through practice and coaching can a child learn to describe their emotions and needs verbally.
Kids want attention, and even though it seems backwards, for some children bad attention is better than no attention at all.
Therefore, a good way for parents to improve a child’s behavior is to attend to good and okay behaviors and ignore the bad ones. For example, if your child behaved well while getting her shoes on, tell the child, “Thank you, honey. I am very proud of how good you are. You put on your shoes quietly when asked.” If your child misbehaves by putting up a fuss, ignore the behavior—don’t give her more attention.
Show the child the privileges of age.
All adults recognize that age has its privileges, but kids don’t always see it that way—especially when there’s an infant getting gobs and gobs of attention. Point out all the privileges of age to the older siblings. What are they getting because they are older? If they’re not getting many, give them some!
Hope these help.
Source: AACC
1-Love Your Children and Don’t Show Favoritism.
Ask any son or daughter who the favorite child is in the family and you may get an answer—pointing to the rival. Sibling favoritism offends and infects the heart of a child and leads to feelings of inferiority, anger, resentment, and even bitterness.
The Bible story of Esau and Jacob is a prime example of how favoritism damages a family. We learn in the book of Genesis that the father of the boys, Isaac, preferred Esau while the mother favored Jacob (25:28). This led to deceit between the parents and to Jacob’s stealing Esau’s birthright and blessing.
In many families there is no favoritism, and you must challenge your children’s false belief that there is. You know that you love each of your children completely, but that you also have a different relationship and behave differently with each one. It is essential to know each child’s particular love language and to communicate your love in that style. You must constantly discuss this essential difference in how people receive love until your children get it—which may not be until adulthood or when they themselves have children.
2-Don’t Compare
Most siblings are already very sensitive to the competitive aspects of their relationships with brothers and sisters. Instead of asking themselves, How good am I at this? they ask themselves, Am I better than my brother [sister] at this?
It is best for parents to avoid directly comparing their kids to one another. You can comment on your children’s gifts and uniqueness apart from their siblings. For example, while it is good to say, “Jane is great at soccer, and David is a whiz at piano!” it is not good to say “Jane is better than David at soccer, and David kicks Jane’s butt at music.”
3-Counter Jealous Feelings
Often jealousy is at the heart of sibling rivalry. If an older sibling is experiencing jealousy of a younger sibling, try the following techniques:
Help the child verbalize his or her feelings.
When children are able to verbalize their feelings, they are much better equipped to understand them and cope with them. However, verbalizing feelings is not a simple process for children. For example, can you imagine a young child saying, “Mom, Dad, I’ve been feeling a bit neglected and insecure since my little brother came along and I could really use some more attention. Specifically, I would like us to spend more one-on-one time playing games together like we used to.” Yeah right! Children are much more likely to act out their frustrations. Only through practice and coaching can a child learn to describe their emotions and needs verbally.
Kids want attention, and even though it seems backwards, for some children bad attention is better than no attention at all.
Therefore, a good way for parents to improve a child’s behavior is to attend to good and okay behaviors and ignore the bad ones. For example, if your child behaved well while getting her shoes on, tell the child, “Thank you, honey. I am very proud of how good you are. You put on your shoes quietly when asked.” If your child misbehaves by putting up a fuss, ignore the behavior—don’t give her more attention.
Show the child the privileges of age.
All adults recognize that age has its privileges, but kids don’t always see it that way—especially when there’s an infant getting gobs and gobs of attention. Point out all the privileges of age to the older siblings. What are they getting because they are older? If they’re not getting many, give them some!
Hope these help.
Source: AACC
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Settle It
Today we close the series on anger with the last action step, and that is that we must settled the issue.
A plan should be made for follow up, perhaps:
Finding an accountability partner
Individual counseling
Joining an anger management group
Considering medication.
The most important thing is to actively continue spiritual growth if we are going to effectively manage anger. The Bible says, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23).
Remember to:
Surrender—to the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:16)
Reflect—on the mercy and love God provides (Ephesians 2:4)
Pray—admit to God feelings and regrets (Matthew 5:43-45)
Forgive—choose to let go of resentment and bitterness (Ephesians 4:31-32)
Avoid—ruminating and revenge (1 Corinthians 10:13; 1 Peter 1:13)
Give and receive—mutual respect with those close to you (Ephesians 5:31-32)
Love—even those who anger you (1 Corinthians 13)
Remember—what it was like to be on the receiving end of someone else’s anger (1 Samuel 19:9-10)
Resolve—the anger issues (Ephesians 4:26)
Underlying issues such as deep emotional wounds that have been identified in counseling need to be considered. Make plans to work on such issues through additional counseling and support groups.
There is a wonderful conclusion. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.”
Source:AACC
A plan should be made for follow up, perhaps:
Finding an accountability partner
Individual counseling
Joining an anger management group
Considering medication.
The most important thing is to actively continue spiritual growth if we are going to effectively manage anger. The Bible says, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23).
Remember to:
Surrender—to the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:16)
Reflect—on the mercy and love God provides (Ephesians 2:4)
Pray—admit to God feelings and regrets (Matthew 5:43-45)
Forgive—choose to let go of resentment and bitterness (Ephesians 4:31-32)
Avoid—ruminating and revenge (1 Corinthians 10:13; 1 Peter 1:13)
Give and receive—mutual respect with those close to you (Ephesians 5:31-32)
Love—even those who anger you (1 Corinthians 13)
Remember—what it was like to be on the receiving end of someone else’s anger (1 Samuel 19:9-10)
Resolve—the anger issues (Ephesians 4:26)
Underlying issues such as deep emotional wounds that have been identified in counseling need to be considered. Make plans to work on such issues through additional counseling and support groups.
There is a wonderful conclusion. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.”
Source:AACC
Monday, October 18, 2010
Control It
As we keep looking for ways to deal with anger, here are more tips and action steps:
Respond (rational action), don’t react (emotional retort).
Maintain a healthy distance until you can speak constructively (James 1:19).
Confront to restore, not to destroy.
Empathize (yelling is a failure to empathize). Speak slowly and quietly (makes yelling difficult).
Surrender the right for revenge (Romans 12:19).
If anger begins to escalate to wrath or fury, that is not the time to engage in interactions with others. Instead, temporarily redirect your energy to solo activities, or re-establish calm, before confronting others.
Remember that the Bible also tells us that we must not let the sun go down on our anger.
Source: AACC
Respond (rational action), don’t react (emotional retort).
Maintain a healthy distance until you can speak constructively (James 1:19).
Confront to restore, not to destroy.
Empathize (yelling is a failure to empathize). Speak slowly and quietly (makes yelling difficult).
Surrender the right for revenge (Romans 12:19).
If anger begins to escalate to wrath or fury, that is not the time to engage in interactions with others. Instead, temporarily redirect your energy to solo activities, or re-establish calm, before confronting others.
Remember that the Bible also tells us that we must not let the sun go down on our anger.
Source: AACC
Friday, October 15, 2010
Anger
Sometimes we as Christians feel that it is wrong to feel anger, we somehow feel it's unspiritual. Well we will never be "anger free" so then what do we do? Our goal should be to learn how to control our response to present anger: both the emotional and biological arousals that anger may cause.
Here are some action steps:
See It
Focus on the source of the anger. List the triggers. Until you can control the anger, avoid the triggers as much as possible.
Learn to identify anger before it is out of control.
Identify angry feelings while they are still minor. State out loud, “I’m feeling angry right now.”
Be aware of the first warning signs of anger, which may be physical changes. Anger promotes a sympathetic nervous system response (a physical state of readiness) and the following biological changes: rising heart rate and blood pressure, amplified alertness, tensed muscles, dilated pupils, digestion clenched fists, flared nostrils, bulged veins.
Step number two is to:
Delay It
Take a “time out”; temporarily disengage from the situation if possible (20-minute minimum).
Perform light exercise until the intensity of anger is manageable.
“Write, don’t fight”; jot down troubling thoughts. This exercise is personal and writings should be kept private, possibly destroyed, not sent.
Talk with a trusted friend who is unrelated to the anger-provoking situation: Don’t just vent—ask for constructive advice.
Pray about the anger, asking God to show you insight.
Read proverbs 16:32, "It is better to be patient than powerful; it is better to have self-control than to conquer a city". And Proverbs 29:11, A fool gives full vent to anger, but a wise person quietly holds it back. -Proverbs 29:11.
Hope these tips help, I'll be posting more of them soon.
Source: AACC
Here are some action steps:
See It
Focus on the source of the anger. List the triggers. Until you can control the anger, avoid the triggers as much as possible.
Learn to identify anger before it is out of control.
Identify angry feelings while they are still minor. State out loud, “I’m feeling angry right now.”
Be aware of the first warning signs of anger, which may be physical changes. Anger promotes a sympathetic nervous system response (a physical state of readiness) and the following biological changes: rising heart rate and blood pressure, amplified alertness, tensed muscles, dilated pupils, digestion clenched fists, flared nostrils, bulged veins.
Step number two is to:
Delay It
Take a “time out”; temporarily disengage from the situation if possible (20-minute minimum).
Perform light exercise until the intensity of anger is manageable.
“Write, don’t fight”; jot down troubling thoughts. This exercise is personal and writings should be kept private, possibly destroyed, not sent.
Talk with a trusted friend who is unrelated to the anger-provoking situation: Don’t just vent—ask for constructive advice.
Pray about the anger, asking God to show you insight.
Read proverbs 16:32, "It is better to be patient than powerful; it is better to have self-control than to conquer a city". And Proverbs 29:11, A fool gives full vent to anger, but a wise person quietly holds it back. -Proverbs 29:11.
Hope these tips help, I'll be posting more of them soon.
Source: AACC
Monday, October 11, 2010
Redeeming Our Time
Imagine that you were given $86,400 a day, every day, for the rest of your life. Suppose you could receive that amount every day…but with a catch. You have to SPEND it every day. Do you think you could do it? We could probably have a lot of fun trying!
God gives you 24 hours every day. That’s 1440 minutes a day. Or 86,400 seconds…every day of your life. He makes that deposit in your life daily. But there is a catch: You have to SPEND it…all of it…every day. And guess what? You do…
Time, it is our most precious commodity. Wouldn’t you like to be able to buy back a day…or a week…or better yet a whole year? The Apostle Paul, in Ephesians 5, admonishes us to “be careful how we walk…redeeming the time…(Vs 15 & 16)NKJV”. The word redeeming carries the implication of “buying up for oneself”, just like Christ has “redeemed” us. It means to consider “time” so precious that we are never wasteful of a moment.
Stop, look and see…where does your time go? Show me where you spend your time, and I will show you where your heart is. Golf? T.V.? Emails? Texting? Facebook? Twittering? Surfing the web? Are the “things” in your life stealing time that should be spent in relationships? A relationship with your husband or wife? Time with your kids? Or even more importantly, how about the intimate time growing your relationship with God? Not for study. Not to prepare for teaching a class. But simply because you need to be in His presence. One on one. His heart to your heart to Hunger and Thirst for Him. Redeem your time. Why? Because there are obstacles in the way.
Source: AACC
God gives you 24 hours every day. That’s 1440 minutes a day. Or 86,400 seconds…every day of your life. He makes that deposit in your life daily. But there is a catch: You have to SPEND it…all of it…every day. And guess what? You do…
Time, it is our most precious commodity. Wouldn’t you like to be able to buy back a day…or a week…or better yet a whole year? The Apostle Paul, in Ephesians 5, admonishes us to “be careful how we walk…redeeming the time…(Vs 15 & 16)NKJV”. The word redeeming carries the implication of “buying up for oneself”, just like Christ has “redeemed” us. It means to consider “time” so precious that we are never wasteful of a moment.
Stop, look and see…where does your time go? Show me where you spend your time, and I will show you where your heart is. Golf? T.V.? Emails? Texting? Facebook? Twittering? Surfing the web? Are the “things” in your life stealing time that should be spent in relationships? A relationship with your husband or wife? Time with your kids? Or even more importantly, how about the intimate time growing your relationship with God? Not for study. Not to prepare for teaching a class. But simply because you need to be in His presence. One on one. His heart to your heart to Hunger and Thirst for Him. Redeem your time. Why? Because there are obstacles in the way.
Source: AACC
Monday, October 4, 2010
REFINE YOUR SKILLS
This is the last installment of the tips we have been learning to help us become better teachers, refining our skills.
Sometimes the more we use our voices while trying to discipline, the less effective they become. In other words, when we talk too much, children begin to tune us out. Instead, use these techniques.
Offer focused attention. Ever noticed that children seem to act up whenever you're crunched for time, short on help, or expecting a classroom guest? Children are very sensitive to our moods and can tell when we're under the most pressure. If you ignore or isolate them or, even worse, yell at them-the problems escalate and no one wins. The best solution is to stop and give children your undivided attention or, if they're young, simply hold them.
Move slowly and maintain eye contact. Look into children's eyes and truly focus on them, just as Jesus did. Avoid turning your back on a child you've just disciplined; otherwise, you may inadvertently set yourself up for round two.
Act detached from the deed, not from the children. Don't take children's misbehaviors personally. Pretend you're trying to win an Academy Award in detachment. As you begin acting that way, you'll actually start feeling that way.
When you do speak, pray that God will give you the right words and the right tone of voice. Our voices tend to go up when we're upset, which makes it harder for children to take us seriously. Instead, stair-step your voice down and use visual clues along with your words. As you state what you want children to do, nod your head and smile. As you state what you don't want them to do, shake your head "no."
Close the matter properly. Verify whether children understand you. Then ask kids to apologize to others involved, realizing that they may not. Don't force apologies; repentance is a learned skill. Even so, it's important to set forth the expectation that kids will apologize when they've hurt someone. Train children in the habit of apologizing and trust God to change their hearts.
Keep your sense of humor. Humor is an important principle of discipline because it helps us put things into perspective. Often we have to step back, take a few deep breaths, and pray that God will show us the lighter side of a situation. With little children who are squirmy and inattentive, you could say, "Did you eat wiggle worms for breakfast? I know you must've had silly cereal!" With older kids, you could say, "Is this my life, or am I in a TV show-because I'm ready for a commercial break!" Humor isn't for kids only; it helps us see the funny side, too.
When you have an established, loving discipline strategy, children feel secure and are able to learn more. And teaching becomes a joy, not a chore.
Source: Group
Sometimes the more we use our voices while trying to discipline, the less effective they become. In other words, when we talk too much, children begin to tune us out. Instead, use these techniques.
Offer focused attention. Ever noticed that children seem to act up whenever you're crunched for time, short on help, or expecting a classroom guest? Children are very sensitive to our moods and can tell when we're under the most pressure. If you ignore or isolate them or, even worse, yell at them-the problems escalate and no one wins. The best solution is to stop and give children your undivided attention or, if they're young, simply hold them.
Move slowly and maintain eye contact. Look into children's eyes and truly focus on them, just as Jesus did. Avoid turning your back on a child you've just disciplined; otherwise, you may inadvertently set yourself up for round two.
Act detached from the deed, not from the children. Don't take children's misbehaviors personally. Pretend you're trying to win an Academy Award in detachment. As you begin acting that way, you'll actually start feeling that way.
When you do speak, pray that God will give you the right words and the right tone of voice. Our voices tend to go up when we're upset, which makes it harder for children to take us seriously. Instead, stair-step your voice down and use visual clues along with your words. As you state what you want children to do, nod your head and smile. As you state what you don't want them to do, shake your head "no."
Close the matter properly. Verify whether children understand you. Then ask kids to apologize to others involved, realizing that they may not. Don't force apologies; repentance is a learned skill. Even so, it's important to set forth the expectation that kids will apologize when they've hurt someone. Train children in the habit of apologizing and trust God to change their hearts.
Keep your sense of humor. Humor is an important principle of discipline because it helps us put things into perspective. Often we have to step back, take a few deep breaths, and pray that God will show us the lighter side of a situation. With little children who are squirmy and inattentive, you could say, "Did you eat wiggle worms for breakfast? I know you must've had silly cereal!" With older kids, you could say, "Is this my life, or am I in a TV show-because I'm ready for a commercial break!" Humor isn't for kids only; it helps us see the funny side, too.
When you have an established, loving discipline strategy, children feel secure and are able to learn more. And teaching becomes a joy, not a chore.
Source: Group
Thursday, September 30, 2010
More Tips
Before we got so rudely interrupted by Tropical Storm Nicole, we had been looking at ways that we can be more effective in ministering to kids in the classrooms. We last look at Defining A system. Today we turn our attention to Tailoring that System, here we go:
TAILOR YOUR SYSTEM
Although rules need to remain consistent, it's also important to factor personalities into the equation. Children often hear rules through the grid of their God-given personalities.
For a strong-willed child who may evolve into a discipline problem without guidance, preface a desired behavior in words that empower; for example, "You can be in charge of cleaning up the block center."
Otherwise calm, peace-loving children may have problems making transitions between experiences. They respond best when you provide warnings and time to respond. For example, "In five minutes, we'll move on to our centers."
Fun-loving children may be busy talking with their friends and forget the rules. They usually respond well to warm, loving words about something enjoyable. You might say, "I wonder if we can get our centers all cleaned up by the time I count to 10? Then we'll have time to play a game."
Perfectionists may have trouble because they get stuck emotionally or can't do something just right. They usually respond well to encouragement. You could say, "I know you're upset that those colors don't match, but it's a very detailed drawing. I'm sure your mom will want to hang it up when you get home."
Hope these help. Tomorrow we will look at refining our skills.
Source: Group
TAILOR YOUR SYSTEM
Although rules need to remain consistent, it's also important to factor personalities into the equation. Children often hear rules through the grid of their God-given personalities.
For a strong-willed child who may evolve into a discipline problem without guidance, preface a desired behavior in words that empower; for example, "You can be in charge of cleaning up the block center."
Otherwise calm, peace-loving children may have problems making transitions between experiences. They respond best when you provide warnings and time to respond. For example, "In five minutes, we'll move on to our centers."
Fun-loving children may be busy talking with their friends and forget the rules. They usually respond well to warm, loving words about something enjoyable. You might say, "I wonder if we can get our centers all cleaned up by the time I count to 10? Then we'll have time to play a game."
Perfectionists may have trouble because they get stuck emotionally or can't do something just right. They usually respond well to encouragement. You could say, "I know you're upset that those colors don't match, but it's a very detailed drawing. I'm sure your mom will want to hang it up when you get home."
Hope these help. Tomorrow we will look at refining our skills.
Source: Group
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Hello Nicole
One of the things we must get used to as residents of this great state of Florida is the fact that we get uninvited visitors all the time in the guise of hurricanes, tropical depressions, and tropical storms. Today is one of those days. We are getting ready to welcome Tropical Storm Nicole. As a result of Nicole stopping by we find ourselves with the need of canceling our Wednesday night service. We don't want to put any of our brothers or sisters in danger by having to drive through flooded streets. So stay home, stay dry, and have church at home like they used to do 2000 years ago. We will see you this weekend.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
More Teacher's Tips
DEFINE YOUR SYSTEM
Don't wait until problems arise to create a discipline plan. Teacher training needs to include details about how to handle common behavioral problems-and when to seek help for the "bigger" issues as well. Try these steps.
Set ground rules. I've found that three simple rules work well for children of all ages: 1. When you want to talk, raise your hand and wait to be called on. 2. When someone else is talking, be quiet. 3. Keep your hands and feet to yourself unless you have permission. If you teach young children, you may need to repeat these three guidelines every week.
Establish a clear discipline process. I recommend this simple three-step approach. The first time children violate a rule, walk to them and quietly tell them the rule. In other words, assume they have rule amnesia, which is prevalent in childhood. State the desired behavior first; for example, "We use our hands to love and help, not hit." For a second violation, walk to children and ask them what the rule is in your room. For a third violation, have an immediate consequence related to the misbehavior.
Develop logical consequences. The purpose of a consequence is to retrain the brain and transform the heart. Training through discipline requires that the deed and consequence be logically related and that it occurs right away. The consequence helps children see that their choices determined what happened. This brings accountability into the picture.
This one is EXTREMELY important. Consequences must maintain children's dignity. Respond only to the current misbehavior and don't bring up a long list of past offenses. Instead of saying, "You always…" or "You never…," simply say, "Because you've chosen to do this behavior, this is the consequence."
For example, if children talk rudely and inappropriately, they must find a nice way to say the same thing. If children hurt someone else, they must do something kind for him or her. Connected, immediate consequences can lead to significant changes in children's behavior.
I have noticed that these tips also help in parenting. Tomorrow we'll look at tayloring the system.
Source: Group, Jody Capehart
Don't wait until problems arise to create a discipline plan. Teacher training needs to include details about how to handle common behavioral problems-and when to seek help for the "bigger" issues as well. Try these steps.
Set ground rules. I've found that three simple rules work well for children of all ages: 1. When you want to talk, raise your hand and wait to be called on. 2. When someone else is talking, be quiet. 3. Keep your hands and feet to yourself unless you have permission. If you teach young children, you may need to repeat these three guidelines every week.
Establish a clear discipline process. I recommend this simple three-step approach. The first time children violate a rule, walk to them and quietly tell them the rule. In other words, assume they have rule amnesia, which is prevalent in childhood. State the desired behavior first; for example, "We use our hands to love and help, not hit." For a second violation, walk to children and ask them what the rule is in your room. For a third violation, have an immediate consequence related to the misbehavior.
Develop logical consequences. The purpose of a consequence is to retrain the brain and transform the heart. Training through discipline requires that the deed and consequence be logically related and that it occurs right away. The consequence helps children see that their choices determined what happened. This brings accountability into the picture.
This one is EXTREMELY important. Consequences must maintain children's dignity. Respond only to the current misbehavior and don't bring up a long list of past offenses. Instead of saying, "You always…" or "You never…," simply say, "Because you've chosen to do this behavior, this is the consequence."
For example, if children talk rudely and inappropriately, they must find a nice way to say the same thing. If children hurt someone else, they must do something kind for him or her. Connected, immediate consequences can lead to significant changes in children's behavior.
I have noticed that these tips also help in parenting. Tomorrow we'll look at tayloring the system.
Source: Group, Jody Capehart
Friday, September 24, 2010
Teacher's Tips
You love God and children. You feel called to teach and be enthusiastic about the year ahead. But now you find yourself faced with disruptive children. You don't want to give up; you're just frustrated beyond belief.
This probably sounds familiar. Most children's ministry teachers or volunteers have the passion and the right attitude, but relatively few are equipped for when the "little angels" behave less than angelically. Unfortunately, that leaves many formerly upbeat teachers ready to throw in the towel.
How can you prevent discipline problems from diminishing your effectiveness and joy? Here's a bounty of practical pointers:
RELY ON GOD
Ground your discipline strategy in God's Word. Hebrews 12:11 says, "No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening-it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." Children usually don't view discipline as training in right living, though. They often interpret strictness as meanness. Although the former is okay, the latter is never appropriate.
A discipline policy is really a discipleship process that allows us to demonstrate Jesus' love. Although we may not like everything children do each moment, we always love them. They need to hear and feel that from us often.
Adults' character and conduct are very contagious to children, who learn more from how we act than what we say. So it's important to respond in a Christian manner rather than react in the flesh. When we adults rely on God to model respect, manners, concern for others, and a gentle spirit, we teach volumes.
Discipline is far more effective when you move slowly and quietly, praying for God's guidance. Prayer is the Christian version of "counting to 10." It slows down our human reactions, puts things in proper perspective, and gives the Holy Spirit opportunity to work. In our weakness, God can use us to glorify him.
Tomorrow we'll look at more pointers.
Source: Group, Jody Capehart
This probably sounds familiar. Most children's ministry teachers or volunteers have the passion and the right attitude, but relatively few are equipped for when the "little angels" behave less than angelically. Unfortunately, that leaves many formerly upbeat teachers ready to throw in the towel.
How can you prevent discipline problems from diminishing your effectiveness and joy? Here's a bounty of practical pointers:
RELY ON GOD
Ground your discipline strategy in God's Word. Hebrews 12:11 says, "No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening-it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." Children usually don't view discipline as training in right living, though. They often interpret strictness as meanness. Although the former is okay, the latter is never appropriate.
A discipline policy is really a discipleship process that allows us to demonstrate Jesus' love. Although we may not like everything children do each moment, we always love them. They need to hear and feel that from us often.
Adults' character and conduct are very contagious to children, who learn more from how we act than what we say. So it's important to respond in a Christian manner rather than react in the flesh. When we adults rely on God to model respect, manners, concern for others, and a gentle spirit, we teach volumes.
Discipline is far more effective when you move slowly and quietly, praying for God's guidance. Prayer is the Christian version of "counting to 10." It slows down our human reactions, puts things in proper perspective, and gives the Holy Spirit opportunity to work. In our weakness, God can use us to glorify him.
Tomorrow we'll look at more pointers.
Source: Group, Jody Capehart
Thursday, September 23, 2010
This Weekend at CCk
If you want to see what God can do even in seemingly insurmountable circumstances...
If you want to hear a miraculous story of how God calls the most unlikely people to do his work...
If you want to be inspired to see how God might use your life to impact the world...
Then, join us this weekend as we welcome Pastor Raul Ries from Calvary Chapel Golden Springs to tell his story at all of our regularly scheduled weekend services.
Growing up with an alcoholic father who abused him and his mother caused rage to fester inside Raul. He lashed out by joining gangs and committing crimes in the Los Angeles area. The violence and pain escalated - until one day a judge told him it was either prison or the military. Raul chose Vietnam and came back angrier than ever. Eventually Raul's rage reached its boiling point, and just as he was about to do the unthinkable, God intervened. He has an amazing story, you don't want to miss it! So come and join us and don't forget to bring a friend.
If you want to hear a miraculous story of how God calls the most unlikely people to do his work...
If you want to be inspired to see how God might use your life to impact the world...
Then, join us this weekend as we welcome Pastor Raul Ries from Calvary Chapel Golden Springs to tell his story at all of our regularly scheduled weekend services.
Growing up with an alcoholic father who abused him and his mother caused rage to fester inside Raul. He lashed out by joining gangs and committing crimes in the Los Angeles area. The violence and pain escalated - until one day a judge told him it was either prison or the military. Raul chose Vietnam and came back angrier than ever. Eventually Raul's rage reached its boiling point, and just as he was about to do the unthinkable, God intervened. He has an amazing story, you don't want to miss it! So come and join us and don't forget to bring a friend.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Don't Quit
September 8, 1990. The Texas Rangers were hosting the Kansas City Royals at Arlington Stadium. 34,412 fans were watching these two teams battle.
During the second inning, Bo Jackson, a fierce hitter for the Royals smashed Nolan Ryan’s first pitch to him right back at the mound. And it wasn’t pretty. Ryan misplayed the baseball and the line drive hit him right in the mouth. Ryan’s lip was split wide open and there was blood everywhere. Amazingly, he refused to leave the mound. With a shirt stained with blood, and a busted and swollen lip, he pitched to the 7th inning. The Rangers went on to win the game 2 – 1.
Crazy? Yes. Tough, hard-nosed baseball? You bet. Nolan’s picture from that day is hung everywhere as a reminder to keep “the fight” in you. To “get up” and keep doing battle.
The writer of Proverbs understood this. Proverbs 24:16 says, “For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again.” Wow. Can you imagine getting knocked down seven times and still getting back up? It sounds like the fight between Rocky Balboa and the Russian in Rocky IV! The Apostle Paul quoted Jesus when he felt his knees buckle from the pressures and pain in his life. II Corinthians 12:9, “My GRACE is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.” Catch this, Paul went on to say that he was glad when he felt weak, because that is when he knew just how strong the power of Christ is. That’s what kept him in the game.
When life delivers those devastating blows, resolve to get up to stay in the fight. How? With God’s Grace, and in His Strength.
Source: AACC
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
911
Once a kids pastor always a kids pastor, and living on that premise finds me always looking for tools to either help kids or help the parents who are raising them. While on that search I found this article and I thought it was good, so I'll share it with you.
Every school kid in America knows to call 911 in a crisis. Not if everything’s well or fine and the day is normal. But in an emergency…when there is tragedy or danger… that’s when you dial 911.
When you are in trouble or need help I’ve got another number for you. Remember…Psalm 91:1… “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty.”(TAB)
Is your heart heavy? Discouraged? Sick of the way you are living? Have you been hurt? Are you tempted beyond what you feel you can handle? Then go to Psalm 91:1. Dial it in. God knows and He’s there for you.
But the key is to dwell in the “secret place” of the Most High. That’s your responsibility. To spend time with the Father. Soak in His presence. And then when trials and hard times come…and they will come…you can remain stable and fixed. You can “be still” and “know that He is God”…and that this crisis – this journey – this season – this too shall pass. Don’t fear. Be secure. Where? Under the shadow of the Almighty.
Is all well with your soul? Then God has called you to care. Millions of people are searching right now for God. They need and want His touch. Let God use your hands to dial the number for them. 911. He will answer. Bear their burden with them. Lead them to the secret place. The place of safety and stability. A place where they can, and will, learn to Hunger and Thirst…for His protection…for His presence…
Source: AACC.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Amazing Weekend
This past weekend I had the opportunity and the privilege of witnessing God moving in the lives of people. We had Pastor Bob Coy the senior pastor of Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale speaking at our West Campus. He kicked off our new series called Story. As we expected we had a great turnout for the three weekend services. There were close to 3000 people that came out to hear him speak and they were not disappointed. Pastor Bob is a great communicator, not only that, but he is also totally committed to God and to spreading His Word. Bob shared his testimony and what God has done and is doing in his life. He did it in a down to earth manner and simply had us all laughing at times and also crying at other times. Overall it was great to see how the Lord used him to bring people to a saving relationship, as several people responded to the invitation to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I am also thankful and at the same time humbled by the commitment of all the volunteers that gave of their time and their efforts to make this event happen. Without their help it would have been impossible to minister to so many people. From the set up and break down crew, to the Kidz Ministry volunteers, to the security people, greeters, ushers, everyone served with a smile on their face and a willing heart to help. I am honored to be the campus pastor serving alongside this great bunch of Jesus crazed people, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart and I look forward to more events like this that we can continue to bring people to light through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If you want to read more about Pastor Bob's story go here.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
More on Becoming a Better Parent
Here are so more tips on becoming a better parent.
Tenderness
Tenderness is to love unconditionally, and it is having a soft hand of discipline even when children irritate, argue, or disappoint. It is the same message Jesus shouts to us, in any condition of sin or grace, we are worth everything to Him!
Also learn the way your child gives and receives love and overdose him or her with that love! According to Christian child psychologist Fran Stott, “Every child needs at least one person who’s crazy about him.”
Teaching
Whether present or absent, a parent is always teaching something to his or her child. Your child learned something from you today, guaranteed. Don’t miss a moment to teach your child important life lessons. And if one parent is absent, assure the child that he or she deserves two parents, even though one might not be around.
Tenacity
Today kids need structure and stability more than ever, for their lives are more erratic, confusing, and rapidly changing than for any generation in history! Parents, be a reference point, an anchor that holds firmly against powerful countercurrents.
The hardest part of parenting is staying persistent. Your investment now is what your child has to “bank” on as he or she grows into a compassionate, competent adult. The truth is children grow up way too soon. Never quit
being the parent your child needs.
Tomorrow
The most beautiful part of God’s love for us is in what Scripture calls the “blessed hope”, an eternity with Him in heaven. Parents, fill your children’s hearts with hope. Believe in them. Dream with them. Look expectantly to the future! Be big on praise, forgiveness, and grace, and be small on criticism. There is no better inheritance, no amount of money or privilege or worldly power that can compare to a legacy of hope in a godly future.
Well there they are, I hope and pray that they can be helpful tools in our journey as parents. I know they have helped in my relationship with my kids.
Source: AACC, Fran Stott
Tenderness
Tenderness is to love unconditionally, and it is having a soft hand of discipline even when children irritate, argue, or disappoint. It is the same message Jesus shouts to us, in any condition of sin or grace, we are worth everything to Him!
Also learn the way your child gives and receives love and overdose him or her with that love! According to Christian child psychologist Fran Stott, “Every child needs at least one person who’s crazy about him.”
Teaching
Whether present or absent, a parent is always teaching something to his or her child. Your child learned something from you today, guaranteed. Don’t miss a moment to teach your child important life lessons. And if one parent is absent, assure the child that he or she deserves two parents, even though one might not be around.
Tenacity
Today kids need structure and stability more than ever, for their lives are more erratic, confusing, and rapidly changing than for any generation in history! Parents, be a reference point, an anchor that holds firmly against powerful countercurrents.
The hardest part of parenting is staying persistent. Your investment now is what your child has to “bank” on as he or she grows into a compassionate, competent adult. The truth is children grow up way too soon. Never quit
being the parent your child needs.
Tomorrow
The most beautiful part of God’s love for us is in what Scripture calls the “blessed hope”, an eternity with Him in heaven. Parents, fill your children’s hearts with hope. Believe in them. Dream with them. Look expectantly to the future! Be big on praise, forgiveness, and grace, and be small on criticism. There is no better inheritance, no amount of money or privilege or worldly power that can compare to a legacy of hope in a godly future.
Well there they are, I hope and pray that they can be helpful tools in our journey as parents. I know they have helped in my relationship with my kids.
Source: AACC, Fran Stott
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Becoming a Better Parent
Our goal as Christians should be to become the man or woman that God wants us to be, and for some of us that means being the best parent that we can be. Whether a single parent or a family unit the following steps can help us in achieving just that.
The following guidelines are called the “super Ts” and are the foundation of any good parenting, whether the parent is single or not. They are a basic guide for all parents on how to build relationship and bring up a happy and healthy child. (It should be apparent that for many of these tasks, the single parent will need the help of other adults. No one person can accomplish all these alone.)
Time
Kids spell love T-I-M-E. There is no substitute for every hour, minute, and second of quality time fathers and mothers spend with their children. Kids need heavy doses of you every day if possible.
Touch
A hug and kiss, holding hands, brushing hair, wrestling, high fives, even cuddling on the couch, most child experts agree kids need at least eleven touches a day.
Talk
Find the interests you and your child share, and talk! Or ask your child about his or her day. Remember, communication is more nonverbal than verbal, so be careful of all the different ways you “speak” to your child.
Truth
Deuteronomy 6:6–7 says, “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (NIV). Parents’ morals fill the little hands and hearts of their children. Therefore, ground your child in the truth of God’s Word.
I'll look at more of these tomorrow.
Source: AACC.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Spiritual Intimacy Part IV
So far we have looked at several action steps to improve our Spiritual Intimacy, they were:Talk, Listen, Sharing,Praying,Doing Bible Study and Spiritual Learning. Today I want to look at the last two action steps, they are:
Worship and Serve Together.
Worship is a vital part of spiritual intimacy and finding a church where worship brings you directly into the presence of God may be a key goal. Instead of the husband going to a men’s retreat, and the wife to a women’s group, attend religious activities together.
Make sure you are both actively involved together in your church ministry. This not only includes sitting together during services but also volunteering together and having your marital relationship be a vital part of your identity in the church.
According to Gary Chapman, "Because service to God is so central in the Christian life, it also plays an important role in developing spiritual intimacy within marriage. Spiritual intimacy greatly increases when a husband and wife serve together."
Well, there they are, I pray and hope that it may help some of you like it has helped me.
Source: AACC, Gary Chapman.
Worship and Serve Together.
Worship is a vital part of spiritual intimacy and finding a church where worship brings you directly into the presence of God may be a key goal. Instead of the husband going to a men’s retreat, and the wife to a women’s group, attend religious activities together.
Make sure you are both actively involved together in your church ministry. This not only includes sitting together during services but also volunteering together and having your marital relationship be a vital part of your identity in the church.
According to Gary Chapman, "Because service to God is so central in the Christian life, it also plays an important role in developing spiritual intimacy within marriage. Spiritual intimacy greatly increases when a husband and wife serve together."
Well, there they are, I pray and hope that it may help some of you like it has helped me.
Source: AACC, Gary Chapman.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Spiritual Intimacy Part 3
Continuing our journey to find and apply actions steps that will help us in our spiritual intimacy, the next action step we look at is,Bible study and spiritual learning.
Many couples find studying the Bible together a comfortable way to build spiritual intimacy. The downside is that studying together often takes more time than praying together, and it can feel impersonal if the study is more technical than reflective. Few couples will feel very close studying the ontological argument for God’s existence, for example. The key to building spiritual intimacy through religious spiritual study is bringing in one’s own personal reflection. Ask, how does this particular Scripture convict, encourage, or challenge us? Sharing and listening to each other’s reflections are key components of building spiritual closeness through study.
We got one more area to look at I'll post soon.
Source: AACC
Many couples find studying the Bible together a comfortable way to build spiritual intimacy. The downside is that studying together often takes more time than praying together, and it can feel impersonal if the study is more technical than reflective. Few couples will feel very close studying the ontological argument for God’s existence, for example. The key to building spiritual intimacy through religious spiritual study is bringing in one’s own personal reflection. Ask, how does this particular Scripture convict, encourage, or challenge us? Sharing and listening to each other’s reflections are key components of building spiritual closeness through study.
We got one more area to look at I'll post soon.
Source: AACC
Friday, September 10, 2010
More on Spiritual Intimacy
Continuing on the actions steps to find spiritual intimacy with your spouse, last post I wrote about Talk, Listen, and Share, in this post we will look at:
Pray, Pray, and Pray Some More.
Paul Tournier, in his book To Understand Each Other, writes:
"Happy are the couples who do recognize and understand that their happiness is a gift of God, who can kneel together to express their thanks not only for the love which he has put in their hearts, the children he has given them or all of life’s joys, but also for the progress in their marriage which he brings about through the hard school of mutual understanding".
It is said that few spiritual endeavors have as great a potential for building spiritual intimacy as praying together. If praying together is not your style, or if makes you uncomfortable, you and your spouse can pray separately for each other daily, then talk about what you prayed. It is likely that over time, simply talking about prayer will help you be able to pray together comfortably.
Try some or all of the following tips they may help minimize any discomfort either of you feel about praying together:
Try praying together when the two of you are already in a spiritual mindset, such as after a church service or before small group meetings.
Try praying together when there is less pressure, such as while riding in a car or listening to music or taking a walk or while in a large crowd.
Try reading the Psalms together. Read a passage, and then pray about the content of the verses. Instead of making up prayers on the spot, find a book of prayers and pray them together.
Solicit prayer requests from others. Make a list and pray for the specific issues on that list.
Pray together silently.
Source: AACC,Paul Tournier.
Pray, Pray, and Pray Some More.
Paul Tournier, in his book To Understand Each Other, writes:
"Happy are the couples who do recognize and understand that their happiness is a gift of God, who can kneel together to express their thanks not only for the love which he has put in their hearts, the children he has given them or all of life’s joys, but also for the progress in their marriage which he brings about through the hard school of mutual understanding".
It is said that few spiritual endeavors have as great a potential for building spiritual intimacy as praying together. If praying together is not your style, or if makes you uncomfortable, you and your spouse can pray separately for each other daily, then talk about what you prayed. It is likely that over time, simply talking about prayer will help you be able to pray together comfortably.
Try some or all of the following tips they may help minimize any discomfort either of you feel about praying together:
Try praying together when the two of you are already in a spiritual mindset, such as after a church service or before small group meetings.
Try praying together when there is less pressure, such as while riding in a car or listening to music or taking a walk or while in a large crowd.
Try reading the Psalms together. Read a passage, and then pray about the content of the verses. Instead of making up prayers on the spot, find a book of prayers and pray them together.
Solicit prayer requests from others. Make a list and pray for the specific issues on that list.
Pray together silently.
Source: AACC,Paul Tournier.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Spiritual Intimacy
In today's society where the divorce rate is so high, we must always be on the lookout for ways that will help us make our marriages stronger. One of the ways I think that is essential for the health of a marriage is that of spiritual intimacy. There are many ways couples can work to build spiritual intimacy. The following action steps give several of these ways.
Talk, Listen, and Share
Spiritual intimacy cannot occur in a relationship unless there is meaningful communication about spiritual matters. Set aside some time each week even if it is just fifteen minutes to talk about spiritual growth and the things of God.
Spouses need to be able to talk about:
What God is doing and not doing in their lives.
What they have learned about God recently.
Ways that God is speaking to or leading them.
Their doubts or faith problems, including any sense of disconnection with God.
Spiritual areas in which they need improvement.
Keys for listening include:
Be attentive to what your spouse is saying.
Do not condemn or judge your spouse’s struggles or mistakes.
Be supportive and reassuring, emphasizing God’s mercy and grace.
If you feel compelled to share a contrasting point of view, share it as your interpretation, not God’s. And don’t make it seem that your spouse has a warped understanding.
Preaching at your spouse, including pointing out his or her sins or beliefs that seem wrong to you, is not a good way to build spiritual intimacy.
So talking, listening, and sharing is a good place to start. More action steps to come.
Source: AACC
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Perseverance
Do you know who invented the light bulb? Thomas Edison. Do you know what else he discovered? Perseverance. He simply refused to give up. At least 6 other men had tried, failed, and given up on the light bulb. But Edison learned the importance of hard work, determination and a “can do” attitude, 6000 that’s how many different plants fibers he tried in the hopes of finding one that would work for the filament of the light bulb. He finally found that a carbonized cotton thread glowed a soft orange when voltage was applied to it. After this, it still took Edison over 2,000 attempts to light his bulb successfully. When asked what kept him going after so many failures, he replied, “Those weren’t failures. I discovered 2,000 ways that didn’t work.” Each try brought him closer to his dream.
The Apostle Paul certainly understood challenges and discouragement. In 2 Corinthians Chapter 11 he relates some of what he went through in his travels, sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ. “Five times I received 39 lashes…Three times I was beaten with rods… Stoned once… Shipwrecked three times… Spent a night and a day clinging to life in the sea” And the list goes on. And yet this same Paul wrote in Galatians 6:9, “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary.”
Are you discouraged? Down? Filled with confusion? Or maybe doubt? Do you wonder if God is listening? He is. And even though you can’t see or feel it yet… He is at work in your life. Never, ever give up on God. Keep moving forward. Do not lose heart. Keep looking up. Your miracle is, quite possibly, just a prayer away.
Source: AACC
Monday, September 6, 2010
The Law of the Garbage Truck !
A friend of mine sent me this and I think is sooo true. I hope the rest of your day is "garbage free."
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car just by inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy I mean he was really friendly.
So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!"
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of The Garbage Truck."
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run all around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointments. As the garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.
Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, resentments, anger, and frustration; so........... Love the people who treat you right, Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it, and ninety percent how you take it.
Have a blessed, garbage-free day!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
From Negative To Positive
Peer pressure. Just say those two words, and they can strike fear in your heart! But add the word "positive" to this alliterative statement and you have a wonderful tool to help kids learn to make the best choices. Positive peer pressure. These three words pack a powerful punch, just the kind of positive punch we want in children's lives to help them make good decisions when we're not around. It's important to understand the nature of positive peer pressure and take action to foster its benefits. Read More Here.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Are We Protecting Our Kids
As a parent raising kids in this date and age I want to make sure that my kids (they are not kids anymore) feel safe. In my constant search for tools to achieve that goal, I came across this information, I pray it helps you. We as parents must ask ourselves some questions and be honest in our answers. For example, how is it going with our kids? Do they feel safe with us? More importantly, do they feel protected?
* From the “bully” down the street…
* From the fear of failure…
* From peer pressure…
* From the daily evil in their lives…
In today’s world we want to protect our kids from ALL of the pain life often delivers. But we can’t. However, we, as moms and dads, can be a place they can run to. We can be their refuge. Our kids can feel safe. They can feel protected. And understand this spiritual phenomenon, we are an EXAMPLE to them of the protection found in their Heavenly Father. The pattern we set with them as they grow up, directly affects how they will relate to God throughout their whole lives. The degree of intimacy that we establish with our kids now, directly affects the level of intimacy they will have with their Heavenly Father for years and years to come.
I am convinced this is what Solomon meant in Proverbs 22:6… “Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it”. It is not so much about discipline as it is about relationship. The relationship they have with us will be mirrored in the relationship they have with God. The quality of our relationship, I believe, also directly impacts the effectiveness of our discipline strategy. Show me a home where all you do is discipline, and I will show you a home that has lost relationship.
This week as we interact with our kids lets commit to pray over them. Pray with them. Listen to them. Laugh with them. Spend time with them. Show them we care. Let them know that they are important. That they matter. And as we do this, they will hunger and thirst for relationship, with us, and more importantly, with God…
Source:AACC.
* From the “bully” down the street…
* From the fear of failure…
* From peer pressure…
* From the daily evil in their lives…
In today’s world we want to protect our kids from ALL of the pain life often delivers. But we can’t. However, we, as moms and dads, can be a place they can run to. We can be their refuge. Our kids can feel safe. They can feel protected. And understand this spiritual phenomenon, we are an EXAMPLE to them of the protection found in their Heavenly Father. The pattern we set with them as they grow up, directly affects how they will relate to God throughout their whole lives. The degree of intimacy that we establish with our kids now, directly affects the level of intimacy they will have with their Heavenly Father for years and years to come.
I am convinced this is what Solomon meant in Proverbs 22:6… “Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it”. It is not so much about discipline as it is about relationship. The relationship they have with us will be mirrored in the relationship they have with God. The quality of our relationship, I believe, also directly impacts the effectiveness of our discipline strategy. Show me a home where all you do is discipline, and I will show you a home that has lost relationship.
This week as we interact with our kids lets commit to pray over them. Pray with them. Listen to them. Laugh with them. Spend time with them. Show them we care. Let them know that they are important. That they matter. And as we do this, they will hunger and thirst for relationship, with us, and more importantly, with God…
Source:AACC.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
More Effective Leadership Tips
Here is the last batch of tips:
11. Make corrections and changes when necessary.
12. Don't let your volunteers get in a rut. Don't keep doing the same old stuff in ministry. Watch out for complacency and familiarity. Keep volunteers excited by doing new things.
13. Always set the pace; be the leader. Be the kind of person you'd like to work for. Dare to lead no matter what. Give your volunteers an example to follow and a model worth imitating.
14. Don't fret about what you don't have. Commit yourself to help your volunteers grow into the next level as leaders.
15. As you experience success, don't forget about the things you did that caused you to gain success. Don't quit doing what has worked for you.
Well there you have it,delegation is not an option for those who want to succeed in ministry, but to succeed, you must take inventory of where you are. Start small and go from there.
Source: Group, Jim Wideman.
11. Make corrections and changes when necessary.
12. Don't let your volunteers get in a rut. Don't keep doing the same old stuff in ministry. Watch out for complacency and familiarity. Keep volunteers excited by doing new things.
13. Always set the pace; be the leader. Be the kind of person you'd like to work for. Dare to lead no matter what. Give your volunteers an example to follow and a model worth imitating.
14. Don't fret about what you don't have. Commit yourself to help your volunteers grow into the next level as leaders.
15. As you experience success, don't forget about the things you did that caused you to gain success. Don't quit doing what has worked for you.
Well there you have it,delegation is not an option for those who want to succeed in ministry, but to succeed, you must take inventory of where you are. Start small and go from there.
Source: Group, Jim Wideman.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Effective Leadership (Contnd)
Here are some more tips on delegation:
6. Push authority down. It's extremely important that you always delegate authority along with responsibility. Those you delegate to can only carry out the tasks you desire with proper authority.
7. Put your heart into the level of leadership under you. People can't represent you well if they don't have your heart. And you can't put your heart into your volunteer leaders without making a commitment to spend time with them. Take someone with you whenever you can. Be quick to pass on what you know to someone else. Allow those around you to ask questions. Establish excellent lines of communication. Take advantage of every communication tool available.
8. Establish accountability. Teach your volunteers how authority works. Help them understand the chain of command.
9. Support and encourage those who help you. It's imperative that you build a support structure around your volunteers.
10. Dare to confront those who are doing it wrong. When you see things that need to be done differently, gently confront people. Don't wait for things to become a problem. Be on the offense and deal with things as they come up. What if volunteers quit? Why be negative? If they quit, they quit. But what if they change and become super leaders?
More to come!
Source: Group, Jim Wideman.
6. Push authority down. It's extremely important that you always delegate authority along with responsibility. Those you delegate to can only carry out the tasks you desire with proper authority.
7. Put your heart into the level of leadership under you. People can't represent you well if they don't have your heart. And you can't put your heart into your volunteer leaders without making a commitment to spend time with them. Take someone with you whenever you can. Be quick to pass on what you know to someone else. Allow those around you to ask questions. Establish excellent lines of communication. Take advantage of every communication tool available.
8. Establish accountability. Teach your volunteers how authority works. Help them understand the chain of command.
9. Support and encourage those who help you. It's imperative that you build a support structure around your volunteers.
10. Dare to confront those who are doing it wrong. When you see things that need to be done differently, gently confront people. Don't wait for things to become a problem. Be on the offense and deal with things as they come up. What if volunteers quit? Why be negative? If they quit, they quit. But what if they change and become super leaders?
More to come!
Source: Group, Jim Wideman.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Effective Leadership
In my years of being a manager I have come to realize that the best resource I had was the people that worked with me or for me. Once I came in to the ministry I realized that people became a more valuable assets since now I was dealing with mostly volunteers. My dilemma was, how to maximize their potential. I found out that the best way to maximize their potential and abilities was through delegation. The bottom line is that over the years I found out that I cannot do the work alone. The Bible talks about leaders that tried to do the work alone and were headed to failure, one example is that of Moses. He learned the hard way about doing the job alone. In Exodus 18, we're told about how Moses did everything in ministry by himself, and it caused problems on the job. It was tough on the people, Moses, and his family. Jethro, Moses' father-in-law, gave him wise advice and counsel. Simply put...he told Moses to delegate or die.
In reading about the subject of delegating I came across an article by Jim Wideman were he talks about 15 delegating tips that can help us in becoming more effective leaders. I agree with them and I will share some of them here in hopes that it may help, here they are:
1. Identify what you need to be doing. There's a right way and a wrong way to delegate ministry to others. Delegation isn't finding someone who's willing and then dumping part of your ministry responsibilities on him. There are some projects that are easier to delegate than others. There are other projects that you should never delegate -- and still others that if you do delegate, proceed with caution.
2. Identify things others can do, and let them do those things. Once you delegate jobs, ensure that the responsible people are properly trained and coached. Next, identify areas where you could use a capable worker. Don't just assign a task; empower a person to do the task well.
3. Qualify all workers. Jethro gave Moses requirements for workers in Exodus 18:21: "But select capable men from all the people." A major rule of delegation is to qualify who you delegate responsibility to. Are they capable and able? If not, then help them become capable and able.
4. Define exactly what you want done. Everyone needs a job description. Especially volunteers! Give them checklists to show what you want them to do and to show you what was done.
5. Train and teach those you recruit. You must model to others how you want it done. Classes are good, but hands-on training is better.
Well that's good enough for now, I will share more in other post. Read Article Here.
Source: Group, Jim Wideman
In reading about the subject of delegating I came across an article by Jim Wideman were he talks about 15 delegating tips that can help us in becoming more effective leaders. I agree with them and I will share some of them here in hopes that it may help, here they are:
1. Identify what you need to be doing. There's a right way and a wrong way to delegate ministry to others. Delegation isn't finding someone who's willing and then dumping part of your ministry responsibilities on him. There are some projects that are easier to delegate than others. There are other projects that you should never delegate -- and still others that if you do delegate, proceed with caution.
2. Identify things others can do, and let them do those things. Once you delegate jobs, ensure that the responsible people are properly trained and coached. Next, identify areas where you could use a capable worker. Don't just assign a task; empower a person to do the task well.
3. Qualify all workers. Jethro gave Moses requirements for workers in Exodus 18:21: "But select capable men from all the people." A major rule of delegation is to qualify who you delegate responsibility to. Are they capable and able? If not, then help them become capable and able.
4. Define exactly what you want done. Everyone needs a job description. Especially volunteers! Give them checklists to show what you want them to do and to show you what was done.
5. Train and teach those you recruit. You must model to others how you want it done. Classes are good, but hands-on training is better.
Well that's good enough for now, I will share more in other post. Read Article Here.
Source: Group, Jim Wideman
Friday, August 27, 2010
Daily Living
Have you ever wondered how we as Christians are supposed to live our daily lives? As you study the Bible you come to know that we should live daily by and in the grace of God. But what does that mean? How do we live by God's grace? Does it mean that we do nothing and just wait for things to "fall" on our laps? I don't think so. We have to take an active part, we must become fully involved in living by grace. However, our involvement develops through ways and means that God has ordained, ways that you or I would have never imagined. There are two characteristics in particular that are essential in living by grace, they are, humility and faith.
In the book of James 4:6 it says that "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble". That tells me that the grace of God does not flow into and through lives of self-sufficiency. What do I mean by that, lives that depend upon their own resources and their own abilities, and as I read the verse I take it to mean that those lives are actually resisted by the Lord. So in this context humility admits my/our comprehensive need for God to work in our lives.
The other characteristic is faith. In the book of Romans 5:2 it speaks of Jesus, "through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand." Here we see that the spiritual ground on which we stand in Jesus is a realm of grace. So how do we access that grace? How do we avail ourselves of it in every day Christian living? It is done by faith, by trusting in the Lord, day by day and step by step. In every situation that we may find ourselves daily, whether we need to make a decission or comitt to an action, everything needs to be dealt with by faith. That is what is meant by having total dependance upon the Lord, relying on His word, His provisions, His promises.
In light of all of this then I am to totally surrender to my Lord and trust that He will enable me by faith to live a life of grace.
Source: LICM.
In the book of James 4:6 it says that "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble". That tells me that the grace of God does not flow into and through lives of self-sufficiency. What do I mean by that, lives that depend upon their own resources and their own abilities, and as I read the verse I take it to mean that those lives are actually resisted by the Lord. So in this context humility admits my/our comprehensive need for God to work in our lives.
The other characteristic is faith. In the book of Romans 5:2 it speaks of Jesus, "through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand." Here we see that the spiritual ground on which we stand in Jesus is a realm of grace. So how do we access that grace? How do we avail ourselves of it in every day Christian living? It is done by faith, by trusting in the Lord, day by day and step by step. In every situation that we may find ourselves daily, whether we need to make a decission or comitt to an action, everything needs to be dealt with by faith. That is what is meant by having total dependance upon the Lord, relying on His word, His provisions, His promises.
In light of all of this then I am to totally surrender to my Lord and trust that He will enable me by faith to live a life of grace.
Source: LICM.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Deja Vu
Even though is my day off today, I got up really early (6 am). I did it to take part of what has become for me a yearly "tradition" for the past I would say 10 or 11 years, that is taking my daughter to her first day of school. This year was special, not only because she is now a junior in high school, but also because she is starting a new adventure in her education. She started in the S.A.S program, a program that is geared for students to work on their college at the same time as high school. Is kind of like a dual enrollment program. Anyways, as I was driving my daughter this morning (driving like a maniac I add, since we were running late), I realized how this might be the last year I get to do this since she will be driving by herself pretty soon. It also made me think about the brevity of life and how fast it goes by. I still remember the times of dropping her off at Pre-K and so on. It reminds me of what the Bible says:"LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered, and that my life is fleeing away".Psalm 39:4. So we must live our lives to the fullest and savoring the moments we get to spend with our love ones. For those of you that have kids that are young enough to be driven to school, enjoy it (in spite of the traffic), because before you know it, they will be all grown up and gone.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Family Force 5
Get your tickets for
Family Force 5
in concert
Sunday, September 12
@ 7:00pm
at Calvary Chapel Kendall West Campus
John A. Ferguson High School
15900 SW 56th Street
Tickets on sale
on the LiFE FM website.
www.909lifefm.com
Tickets are $15.00 per person.
No childcare provided.
Lazy Saturday
What a beautiful morning today. This is why people want to come and live here. Anyways, after a great invigorating workout, my wife and I went to breakfast at one of our favorite restaurants (Sergios). This has turned into somewhat of a tradition for us and is one that I have grown to look forward to. It gives me time to re-connect with my wife and catch up on the goings on of the past week, and look forward to the coming one. I am grateful that I can do this.
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