Bitterness

Have you ever had to deal with bitterness? I know I have, and here are some tips I hope and pray will help you.

1-Acceptance

Make a list of the persons who have hurt you.
Next to each name, write what you needed from that person.
Next to that, write how it made you feel when that person did not meet your need.
In the last column write whether you think that person will ever be able to meet your need. Be honest.
Accept your loss and grieve it.

2-Forgive

Ask God to help you forgive. Forgiveness is letting go of anger and your quest for revenge. Realize that you are powerless to forgive through your own strength, but God does not ask you to do something without giving you His strength and power to do it.
Ask God to help you feel compassion for your offender. Psalm 78:38 says that God is full of compassion.

3-Break the Chain

Bitterness often runs through families: When a parent does not meet a child’s needs, that child can become bitter and is then unable to meet his or her own child’s needs. The chain can continue through several generations.
Ask God to help you break the chain with your generation.
If you have a bitter parent, see your parent as an emotional cripple. Just as you would not expect a person in a wheelchair to run a marathon, don’t expect an emotional cripple to meet your needs—he/she cannot. Ask God to help you have pity for that person.

4-Look Elsewhere

Find somewhere else to get your needs met. If you are an emotional orphan, God will provide people to meet your needs.
Be proactive and look for those God has provided to meet your needs.
Join a women’s or men’s group, or look for a prayer partner.
If your mother did not meet your need for love and acceptance, find an older woman in the church who would be willing to mentor you. She can give you the love and acceptance your mother never could. The same action is helpful in a father-son situation.
If your husband or wife will not meet your need for friendship and intimacy, look around and see if there is a friend (of the same sex) or family member who is willing to be your friend and kindred spirit. Give of yourself to that person and meet each others’ needs.

And remember, God wants you to forgive so you can be free from the destructive power of bitterness.

Source: AACC